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Saturday, 1 November 2014

The Anxiety Monster Part 1 - Coffee Shop as a Goal

Just getting into a cafe can be a struggle if you suffer a stress disorder of some sort.

I'm not a doctor - as they say, but I can pass on my experiences in blogs as I remember them.

For me, beating stress is an ongoing battle, it doesn't help at all when people say it doesn't exist or you are making it up to avoid work - it does exist, and if you have it you are carrying a heavy burden, that is the truth, its horrible but its the reality - most people can't ever fully get rid of it, so you have to make the best of what you have, and go for some goals, knowing there are other people out there battling this monster too, and there will always be people that think you are lying.

Dealing With Cafe's

Some of the methods I use are - presuming you have conquered some of the problems already - for example:

I always "case the joint" if I can before I go in it - if it looks too bright, too dark or too overpowering in some way I find somewhere else, okay that's avoiding the situation, but I figure I can always try it another time and in the meantime go somewhere I feel comfortable - conquering fear isn't the same for everyone.

I like places with big windows so there are things to look at outside once I'm in there.

I like a nice big door, so in my brain I always know where the exit is - this tells the fight or flight monster "look, the door is right there you beast!, if you want to escape you can, nobody is stopping you, lets just sit here a little bit and look out the window"

- Yes I find I have to negotiate with my monster like its a grumpy child that is misbehaving, be good and you can have a treat, seems to work with it sometimes - I don't know why!

I like big, comfy chairs I can sink into, and they hug you, a bit like a duvet or slippers, comforting things, feeling snug as a bug, is feeling secure and safe - the monster tends to go to sleep if you make it comfortable - which buys you time.

If you can't beat the monster you have to find a way to fit it into your life without it taking over too much of your freedom - if you are in a bad relationship, you have two monsters to deal with - but that's another story, for another time.