The Anxiety Monster Part 4 - Messy Home, Messy Brain

If the house is untidy and the dishes unwashed, or the garden uncared for I personally find it makes me more disorganised which doesn't help my anxiety & stress levels.

Finding the motivation or energy to do these chores - is hard work - being told to "get up off your arse and do something" by people that think the tough love approach works - have NO IDEA what they are talking about, they don't get that stress, anxiety, panic attacks, social phobia and depression are all intricately bound together in various ways - and like the Wack 'a' Mole game - a person sensitive to their emotions - can have anyone of these little monsters come out and claim to be King of the brain they have hijacked.

A way to overcome the objection to moving from the sitting position to the standing up one and taking action about your house, can be to give yourself a goal or a treat - I know that might sound like you are a dog, that works for scooby snacks - but I have a dog, and I think she has a point in some cases, doing chores for a reward of some sort does work :-) so try it.

For example I have a messy house at the moment - the way I have talked myself into tidying up - is I ordered some things online (dose of retail therapy) from my supplier and I am not going to allow myself to open the box of goodies until I have got my house in order.

Chores I will do:

Wiping down surfaces, emptying bins, putting paper work in piles, ready to be sorted through, hoovering and making the bed - I don't stop to read the paper work or I would end up distracted from my task, my task is to create a clean and orderly space so that when I open my reward I am focused on it and not surrounded by clutter - I know all the paper work is - in one pile  - over there, rather than scattered EVERYWHERE.

Some order reduces anxiety in my case - which is why I promote tidying up, to increase your FOCUS ON LIFE AS AN ORDERLY THING!

Not everything is chaos, chaos is needed for creativity, but learning to manage some order is also needed in my opinion - to deal with the stress monster - setting boundaries, telling it, you will have a reward WITH ME when WE do those chores and not before.

The monster isn't adverse to a challenge, in my experience so challenge your beast occasionally - make it work for you, rather than YOU being its slave!

Anxiety holds a person down, holds them back, like you've been duck taped to the sofa or wrapped up in a million elastic bands - any of these feelings/ descriptions sound familiar? - you are welcome to share your description of anxiety below in the comments.

Its taken me years to articulate some of the feelings into words - I am still stumped if somebody asks a question like "wot u on about?" - learning to switch off from abstract questions like that, is also a skill that needs constant use, I will looking into it on another blog.

The Anxiety Monster Part 3 - Work Related Stress

PRO TIP - Don't listen to the TABLOIDS, or people that believe the bile in them - they mock stress and anxiety problems, they find examples of people that lie and cheat, BAD, criminal people, they pick on other illnesses like ME/CFS, DEPRESSION and even skin disorders or blame money problems on Immigrants, BAD genetics too - this is simply a LIE.

YOU as a person on this planet are worth more than this, your stress monster might be drawn to negative posts about your condition, don't let it trick you into reading them - the headline is usually enough to know if to read it or not. - Do read the headline, be aware of what the outside world is saying, but file it away in your mind, it won't help you reading NEGATIVE stories all the time.

In the UK STRESS and ANXIETY are the biggest cause of sickness from work - this is BIG but its all too easy for employers and tabloid media to say it doesn't exist or people are faking it.

If you are a genuine sufferer of this illness - it is an insult to your very being when somebody without the correct knowledge trivializes, what for you is probably the most horrid feeling of dread you have felt - you may have been dealing with it for YEARS.

Yet there it is, still there, mocked, shunned, ignored as a fantasy on the "shop floor" and in newspapers, and people continue to lock themselves away like somebody with a hideous disease that should be put in an asylum or forced to work with morons.

If this sounds familar, welcome to my world! - I have had the misfortune to meet a whole lot of very uninformed people in my life, and to be honest it has made me rather STRESSED!

Here are some sources of work related stress to read through - from UK Government, Companies and Charities - that do except that stress and anxiety is a real issue.

HSE - The Health and Safety Executive PDF - STATS
http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress/stress.pdf

The Stress Management Society - ARTICLE
http://www.stress.org.uk/Stress-at-work.aspx

International Stress Management Association - ARTICLE
http://www.isma.org.uk/about-stress/facts-about-stress/#.VFkP_td_Ub8

Let me know what you think in the comments box below!

The Anxiety Monster Part 2 - Going out the House

Another scenario with the anxious or stressed person - is you might be at the stage where you can't even go into a cafe or place with crowds of people - and your doc might say NO COFFEE!

This isn't a problem either - solutions might include, outdoor cafes or cafe's where you can get a hot/cold drink to go.

The basic idea of Coffee Drinker Networking is about meeting people in a relaxed way - its not an interview and you are not on trial - you are there to find out about somebody else's business and they are there to find out about yours!

A walk around a park or on the beach or some other public open space, where there are other people around are less threatening situations.

The less stressed/anxious person should be the person to go in and get the drinks or if you both get stuck, find a place with a vending machine or a local super market with a self service till - just get that drink! its part of a community activity you do with somebody else, its social, very basic, but not the easiest of things to do if you are feeling very unsocial through no fault of your own.

I am presuming you may have "triggers" for stress in certain face to face situations - if you use a ROBOT - as in an automated till, I have personally found it is less stressful on bad days, and it leaves you to focus on something else other than that immediate worry.

BTW Make sure you have read up all about your Company before you venture out, at least then you have something to talk about that raises awareness of who you promote - its easy to forget basic things, such as your catalogues or product samples when you are worrying about if you are going to trip over your shadow!

The Anxiety Monster Part 1 - Coffee Shop as a Goal

Just getting into a cafe can be a struggle if you suffer a stress disorder of some sort.

I'm not a doctor - as they say, but I can pass on my experiences in blogs as I remember them.

For me, beating stress is an ongoing battle, it doesn't help at all when people say it doesn't exist or you are making it up to avoid work - it does exist, and if you have it you are carrying a heavy burden, that is the truth, its horrible but its the reality - most people can't ever fully get rid of it, so you have to make the best of what you have, and go for some goals, knowing there are other people out there battling this monster too, and there will always be people that think you are lying.

Dealing With Cafe's

Some of the methods I use are - presuming you have conquered some of the problems already - for example:

I always "case the joint" if I can before I go in it - if it looks too bright, too dark or too overpowering in some way I find somewhere else, okay that's avoiding the situation, but I figure I can always try it another time and in the meantime go somewhere I feel comfortable - conquering fear isn't the same for everyone.

I like places with big windows so there are things to look at outside once I'm in there.

I like a nice big door, so in my brain I always know where the exit is - this tells the fight or flight monster "look, the door is right there you beast!, if you want to escape you can, nobody is stopping you, lets just sit here a little bit and look out the window"

- Yes I find I have to negotiate with my monster like its a grumpy child that is misbehaving, be good and you can have a treat, seems to work with it sometimes - I don't know why!

I like big, comfy chairs I can sink into, and they hug you, a bit like a duvet or slippers, comforting things, feeling snug as a bug, is feeling secure and safe - the monster tends to go to sleep if you make it comfortable - which buys you time.

If you can't beat the monster you have to find a way to fit it into your life without it taking over too much of your freedom - if you are in a bad relationship, you have two monsters to deal with - but that's another story, for another time.