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Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. - Henry Ford at BrainyQuote

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. - Henry Ford at BrainyQuote

The #Anxiety Monster Part 5 Beware of the #JobCoach

Guess I should have seen this one coming, but sometimes I can get in such a relaxed mood that I don't see the black dog (depression) sneaking upon me, and it only takes one well meaning muppet to tip the carefully ordered, logical process of events into chaos.

In my case it was a Jobs Coach, somebody determined that I should push myself, in front of a class of people, it didn't end well... (she is still living and breathing!) but I was left feeling disorganised, stressed, anxious and depressed, which is not, motivated, inspired, positive and eager is it ?!

I guess I shouldn't have put myself in a vulnerable situation like that, as Job Coaches are there to do the breaking down of the spirit and building it back up again in the mould of the person looking for A JOB - the traditional type of job where you grovel and lie your butt off to an employer in order to get them to EMPLOY YOU and pay you a wage.

I forgot I'm not looking for a traditional job, I'm looking for one to pay my rent and fund my investment in a business that will take me away from the claws of creatures such as job coaches!

Beware of them - they aren't trained to deal with stressed people that have had disturbed lives - there is no way I could introduce my business to people like that, as there is a gaping hole where emotion should be - dragons den and x factor type judgements are NOT my thing, the job coach had forgot I am a human being with FEELINGS, their loss not mine :/

Being your own boss does mean compromise and getting out of your comfort zone, but not having a person tear down your order and replace it with BULL - no thanks, that is not freedom, that's jail!

Jigsaw Piece Part 3 A route out of unemployment via home business

I've looked far and wide over the years, tried here and there, and come to the conclusion that for some people (like me) the only route out of getting off the dole and earning more than the minimum wage (for years until death!) is to FOCUS on a Product you like, from a company you trust and use their sales system, their tools, but put your own spin on it.

The route isn't easy, its like a ragged pathway, that seems full of pitfalls and adventures along the way, but most of the systems have a lot in common, they are network marketing programs of some sort and you need a team as committed as yourself, backed by the strength of the brand.

The home business I am interested in, has all those things, it is subtle, traditional but flexible.

Home business needs investment of your time and money, the hunger you have to find within your soul comes from a mixture of places, any investment means a RISK of some sort in involved.

Judging the RISK is the hardest part.

When does a person go from speculating on the possibility to business owner, when do you become self employed, when is tax due ?

While HMRC and the Job Centre have definite rules - the poor person juggling the RISK takes all the responsibility, the blame for errors, the rejection.

The strange thing about all this is the business plan is pretty straight forward: - you generate a PROFIT - you hit the target sales, you get a promotion, its simple.

SIMPLE THINGS ARE COMPLICATED AND FULL OF RISK - FACT!

Its left for you to decide, do I take the risk or don't I ?!

Most people would probably say NO, risk is dangerous, but if you are constantly playing it safe and staying in your comfort zone, you can stagnate.

A Business from Home has always seemed like a compromise to me, it offers 1 glimmer of hope for a break to freedom you can't find in many places, so that spark, for me will always be there, no matter what ANYONE says!

#Coffee of The Day

Coffee and Biscuits #nomnomnom from PicGifs

Random Blogage, Coffee and Cups

I do just like to get on one of my blogs occasionally and just ramble on about something, today its this blog.

And I have been thinking about how to use this place, the focus is.... its BRIT focused innit :-) hence www.coffeedrinker.co.uk I like going out for a coffee and learning about other people's business, networks they use, swapping intel, bit of gossip, bit of human talking offline that isn't your family type business, that doesn't have commitment, isn't a date or love interest, just a neutral coffee and chat sort of thing, that doesn't seem an unreasonable idea, but it's quite hard to express it.

...anywhoo other than that DXN thinking is getting organised.  I an thinking of adding an inventory to a page here to sell coffee related items in UK.

So I have my chosen coffee supplier - its not sold in shops and I like the brand logo.

I am thinking I should look for some coffee related gear I could sell, maybe do some youtube videos again?

one of those milk frothers, the electric ones, will have to look for them, and cups.

yeppy do, the coffee niche is not dead, not while live and breath!

Jigsaw Piece 2 Are you the guest, or the dinner ?

If you are not at the table, you are on the menu...

Highlights the importance of FOCUS (why am I here at this meeting?) and COMMITMENT (do I want a positive result?) to your own goals.

Why do you want to do your business?

What motivates you to keep going at it, no matter how much you fail? (and there will be failures) passion? fear? - note: FEAR can be turned into passion for a product or service you sell.

How do you overcome objections to your product/service? are you prepared for rejection? (task - write a list of all objections you can think of that a prospect might throw at you, and answer them, you then have an answer for "everything" ...well maybe not everything, just keep notes and keep adding to your knowledge!)

You need to believe in The Company, The Brand, The Products or if/when sales don't happen or you get rejections, you are going to feel like you are on the menu.

Random Skill - Making a Bed in 4 minutes

Sometimes we need a nudge to break us from glazing into the black abyss.

Could you make a bed in 4 minutes?

The Anxiety Monster Part 4 - Messy Home, Messy Brain

If the house is untidy and the dishes unwashed, or the garden uncared for I personally find it makes me more disorganised which doesn't help my anxiety & stress levels.

Finding the motivation or energy to do these chores - is hard work - being told to "get up off your arse and do something" by people that think the tough love approach works - have NO IDEA what they are talking about, they don't get that stress, anxiety, panic attacks, social phobia and depression are all intricately bound together in various ways - and like the Wack 'a' Mole game - a person sensitive to their emotions - can have anyone of these little monsters come out and claim to be King of the brain they have hijacked.

A way to overcome the objection to moving from the sitting position to the standing up one and taking action about your house, can be to give yourself a goal or a treat - I know that might sound like you are a dog, that works for scooby snacks - but I have a dog, and I think she has a point in some cases, doing chores for a reward of some sort does work :-) so try it.

For example I have a messy house at the moment - the way I have talked myself into tidying up - is I ordered some things online (dose of retail therapy) from my supplier and I am not going to allow myself to open the box of goodies until I have got my house in order.

Chores I will do:

Wiping down surfaces, emptying bins, putting paper work in piles, ready to be sorted through, hoovering and making the bed - I don't stop to read the paper work or I would end up distracted from my task, my task is to create a clean and orderly space so that when I open my reward I am focused on it and not surrounded by clutter - I know all the paper work is - in one pile  - over there, rather than scattered EVERYWHERE.

Some order reduces anxiety in my case - which is why I promote tidying up, to increase your FOCUS ON LIFE AS AN ORDERLY THING!

Not everything is chaos, chaos is needed for creativity, but learning to manage some order is also needed in my opinion - to deal with the stress monster - setting boundaries, telling it, you will have a reward WITH ME when WE do those chores and not before.

The monster isn't adverse to a challenge, in my experience so challenge your beast occasionally - make it work for you, rather than YOU being its slave!

Anxiety holds a person down, holds them back, like you've been duck taped to the sofa or wrapped up in a million elastic bands - any of these feelings/ descriptions sound familiar? - you are welcome to share your description of anxiety below in the comments.

Its taken me years to articulate some of the feelings into words - I am still stumped if somebody asks a question like "wot u on about?" - learning to switch off from abstract questions like that, is also a skill that needs constant use, I will looking into it on another blog.

The Anxiety Monster Part 3 - Work Related Stress

PRO TIP - Don't listen to the TABLOIDS, or people that believe the bile in them - they mock stress and anxiety problems, they find examples of people that lie and cheat, BAD, criminal people, they pick on other illnesses like ME/CFS, DEPRESSION and even skin disorders or blame money problems on Immigrants, BAD genetics too - this is simply a LIE.

YOU as a person on this planet are worth more than this, your stress monster might be drawn to negative posts about your condition, don't let it trick you into reading them - the headline is usually enough to know if to read it or not. - Do read the headline, be aware of what the outside world is saying, but file it away in your mind, it won't help you reading NEGATIVE stories all the time.

In the UK STRESS and ANXIETY are the biggest cause of sickness from work - this is BIG but its all too easy for employers and tabloid media to say it doesn't exist or people are faking it.

If you are a genuine sufferer of this illness - it is an insult to your very being when somebody without the correct knowledge trivializes, what for you is probably the most horrid feeling of dread you have felt - you may have been dealing with it for YEARS.

Yet there it is, still there, mocked, shunned, ignored as a fantasy on the "shop floor" and in newspapers, and people continue to lock themselves away like somebody with a hideous disease that should be put in an asylum or forced to work with morons.

If this sounds familar, welcome to my world! - I have had the misfortune to meet a whole lot of very uninformed people in my life, and to be honest it has made me rather STRESSED!

Here are some sources of work related stress to read through - from UK Government, Companies and Charities - that do except that stress and anxiety is a real issue.

HSE - The Health and Safety Executive PDF - STATS
http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress/stress.pdf

The Stress Management Society - ARTICLE
http://www.stress.org.uk/Stress-at-work.aspx

International Stress Management Association - ARTICLE
http://www.isma.org.uk/about-stress/facts-about-stress/#.VFkP_td_Ub8

Let me know what you think in the comments box below!

The Anxiety Monster Part 2 - Going out the House

Another scenario with the anxious or stressed person - is you might be at the stage where you can't even go into a cafe or place with crowds of people - and your doc might say NO COFFEE!

This isn't a problem either - solutions might include, outdoor cafes or cafe's where you can get a hot/cold drink to go.

The basic idea of Coffee Drinker Networking is about meeting people in a relaxed way - its not an interview and you are not on trial - you are there to find out about somebody else's business and they are there to find out about yours!

A walk around a park or on the beach or some other public open space, where there are other people around are less threatening situations.

The less stressed/anxious person should be the person to go in and get the drinks or if you both get stuck, find a place with a vending machine or a local super market with a self service till - just get that drink! its part of a community activity you do with somebody else, its social, very basic, but not the easiest of things to do if you are feeling very unsocial through no fault of your own.

I am presuming you may have "triggers" for stress in certain face to face situations - if you use a ROBOT - as in an automated till, I have personally found it is less stressful on bad days, and it leaves you to focus on something else other than that immediate worry.

BTW Make sure you have read up all about your Company before you venture out, at least then you have something to talk about that raises awareness of who you promote - its easy to forget basic things, such as your catalogues or product samples when you are worrying about if you are going to trip over your shadow!

The Anxiety Monster Part 1 - Coffee Shop as a Goal

Just getting into a cafe can be a struggle if you suffer a stress disorder of some sort.

I'm not a doctor - as they say, but I can pass on my experiences in blogs as I remember them.

For me, beating stress is an ongoing battle, it doesn't help at all when people say it doesn't exist or you are making it up to avoid work - it does exist, and if you have it you are carrying a heavy burden, that is the truth, its horrible but its the reality - most people can't ever fully get rid of it, so you have to make the best of what you have, and go for some goals, knowing there are other people out there battling this monster too, and there will always be people that think you are lying.

Dealing With Cafe's

Some of the methods I use are - presuming you have conquered some of the problems already - for example:

I always "case the joint" if I can before I go in it - if it looks too bright, too dark or too overpowering in some way I find somewhere else, okay that's avoiding the situation, but I figure I can always try it another time and in the meantime go somewhere I feel comfortable - conquering fear isn't the same for everyone.

I like places with big windows so there are things to look at outside once I'm in there.

I like a nice big door, so in my brain I always know where the exit is - this tells the fight or flight monster "look, the door is right there you beast!, if you want to escape you can, nobody is stopping you, lets just sit here a little bit and look out the window"

- Yes I find I have to negotiate with my monster like its a grumpy child that is misbehaving, be good and you can have a treat, seems to work with it sometimes - I don't know why!

I like big, comfy chairs I can sink into, and they hug you, a bit like a duvet or slippers, comforting things, feeling snug as a bug, is feeling secure and safe - the monster tends to go to sleep if you make it comfortable - which buys you time.

If you can't beat the monster you have to find a way to fit it into your life without it taking over too much of your freedom - if you are in a bad relationship, you have two monsters to deal with - but that's another story, for another time.

Jigsaw Piece 1 - All Roads Lead To Rome

An English Proverb:  All Roads Lead To Rome

I think this is the basic foundation for everything else - you need to have a Goal to aim for, in order to achieve a result from a set of actions. Without goals we spend our lives wondering around in circles and end up dizzy and confused.

"ROME" is your Business being a success, and earning you a profit, and that should be your GOAL - your colour, your religion, your politics, your gender are not your goal, they are labels society has put on you.

To get to Rome, you need to be able to see that the path sometimes leads you to:

DEAD ENDS - a set of actions that seem to work for everyone else may fail for you - and in this case you need to try not to spend too much time worrying about it, but think of a new path to try.

CHANGE - Some people are very stubborn and spend years avoiding any other path as they have been told by somebody of influence/authority in their life, that there is only one path to Rome, the truth is there are many paths to ONE GOAL - your basic goal is SUCCESS FOR THE BUSINESS = SUCCESS FOR YOU.

The challenge is being able to change methods, behaviours, see things from a different point of view and realise that -sometimes- YOU aren't ROME.

Ganoderma Girl Calling – Evening Peeps!

Ganoderma Girl Calling – Evening Peeps!